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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26294587">breaking point</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/piginawig/pseuds/piginawig'>piginawig</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>isn't it just so pretty to think... [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>First Kiss, Fluff, M/M, Teenage Losers Club (IT)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 08:35:24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,648</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26294587</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/piginawig/pseuds/piginawig</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Eddie can only take so much.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>isn't it just so pretty to think... [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1910539</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>158</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>breaking point</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Eddie sat cross legged on a flat pillow, his socked feet resting on the dirty ground. He was next to the hammock, where Richie was laid out, reading a comic. Stan was across the way, playing what seemed like a very dull game of Monopoly with Ben and Mike (which Eddie couldn’t fathom; how could anyone play Monopoly without losing their fucking mind?). They were waiting on Bill and Bev who, as was wont to happen recently, were late.</p><p>“I’m telling you guys,” Richie said, pushing his glasses up his nose. “They’re together. This is like the fifth time they’ve been late together. And I bet they’re gonna show up like, two minutes apart so it seems sneaky.”</p><p>“Even if they’re together, why are they keeping it a secret? Why would they have to sneak around?” Mike asked.</p><p>Eddie glanced awkwardly at Ben, who was staring very hard at a Monopoly card. His cheeks were bright red.</p><p>“They’re probably worried it’ll be awkward for the group,” Eddie said.</p><p>“What’s more awkward is their pronounced absence every time we have plans to meet up,” Stanley said. “What are they even doing, anyway? Is it so much better to hang out alone than with us?”</p><p>Before Eddie could stop him, Richie snickered. “They’re making out, doofus.”</p><p>Stan’s nose crinkled in disgust. Eddie watched Ben continue to stare at the card as though it held the secrets of the universe.</p><p>“We’re only 14!” Mike cried out, which made Richie laugh harder. Eddie wished his friends would learn when to quit when they’re ahead.</p><p>“Aw, little Mikey, have you not had your first kiss yet?” Richie asked, making kissy noises at him.</p><p>“I’m not saying that,” Mike said, his smile a little embarrassed. “But I certainly am not out and about sucking face!”</p><p>“I agree,” Stanley added. “I don’t want anyone’s tongue in my mouth but my own.”</p><p>“Such virgins,” Richie said airily, pretending to go back to his comic book.</p><p>Eddie scoffed. “Please. It’s not like <em>you’ve</em> even had your first kiss yet, Trashmouth.”</p><p>Richie’s mouth dropped open. “You think I haven’t?!”</p><p>Eddie stared at him, smirking. “I <em>know</em> you haven’t.”</p><p>“How would you know?” Richie retorted loudly.</p><p>“You would’ve told me! You would’ve told everybody!”</p><p>“Yeah, that seems like something you would have immediately showed up bragging about,” Stan agreed.</p><p>Richie sputtered. “I won’t have you slander my name like this.”</p><p>Eddie rolled his eyes and opened his mouth to say something back when he heard voices from outside. Moments later Beverly began climbing down the ladder, followed by Bill. Eddie was surprised they didn’t stagger their entrances like before.</p><p>“Hey lovebirds,” Richie crowed. Beverly huffed a laugh and shot a middle finger at him. Bill blushed bright red.</p><p>Eddie looked back to Ben, who kept glancing over his shoulder at Beverly. His face was still red. Eddie felt bad, wished that Bill and Bev could keep their secret, or that they weren’t together at all, because he could see what it was doing to Ben. Eddie couldn’t imagine what he’d do if the person he liked was so blatantly with someone else. But he was okay, because Richie hadn’t even –</p><p>His brain short circuited. He felt his own face grow hot and he looked down at the ground. Everyone was talking loudly, seemingly about Bev and Bill, but he couldn’t focus.</p><p><em>You don’t like Richie like that,</em> he told himself firmly. That wasn’t even – that was a stupid thought. It was an accident, it wasn’t even real. <em>Richie’s a boy, he’s your best friend, that’s why you thought of him.</em></p><p>Richie was loudly belting about Bev and Bill sitting in a tree, and Eddie glanced up at him as he made kissy faces at their friends.</p><p><em>He hasn’t kissed anyone</em>, Eddie told himself, and then quickly, <em>not that it matters.</em> He bit his lip and willed himself to stop thinking about it, to stop thinking altogether. He tried to tune back into his friends’ conversation, but by now they were all starting a new game of Monopoly in which they were trying to decide teams.</p><p>“There’s gotta be a three person team, since there’s seven,” Richie was saying. “A threesome, you might say.”</p><p>He held up a hand for Stan to high five, and Stan ignored it.</p><p>“Actually,” he found himself saying, “I’m not gonna play, I just wanna – I’m gonna read. I’m kind of tired.”</p><p>His eyes zeroed in on Richie, who’s face fell for a short moment before he turned to Stan and declared, “Just you and me then, my good fellow!”</p><p>Eddie went back to tuning them out. He picked a comic at random and flipped it open, but his brain wouldn’t focus on the words.</p><p>He couldn’t stop thinking about Richie kissing someone. He tried to convince himself he didn’t care, that the thought didn’t make his chest tight. He looked over at Richie, just to prove to himself that he didn’t feel anything, but he caught Richie’s gaze. He looked… Eddie wasn’t sure. Concerned, maybe? The look didn’t last long enough for him to decipher, as Richie whipped his head back toward the board game. Eddie looked back down at the comic, feeling that same heat in his cheeks again. As he sat there, he felt Richie’s eyes on him again and again, but he never gathered the nerve to look up.</p><p>Everything would be fine. He’d go home tonight and sleep it off, and tomorrow he’d laugh at himself for even considering the notion that he might like Richie. He thought of words carved on the kissing bridge, words hurled at him in the hallways at school and told himself he was just being crazy.</p><p>He managed to make it through half of a comic by the time the others were finishing up their game of Monopoly. He looked up as they all started to stand, and finally tuned back into their conversation.</p><p>“Hey Eddie, we’re going to the qu-qu-quarry if you wanted to c-come.”</p><p>Eddie tried his best to smile nonchalantly at Bill. The image of Richie in just his underwear came into his mind unbidden and he choked on nothing, starting to cough. He could feel everyone staring at him now. He willed himself to breathe.</p><p>“You okay, Eds?” Richie asked, coming to his side. Eddie flinched when Richie’s hand landed on his shoulder, his blood rushing in his ears as Richie spoke to him. He finally stopped coughing and stood up.</p><p>“I think –“ he cleared his throat, sure his face was bright red. “I think I’m gonna just finish this comic and then head home. You guys have fun, though.”</p><p>Eddie sunk back down to his pillow as the others started saying their goodbyes and climbing up the ladder.</p><p>“Hey, I’ll meet you guys later,” Richie said suddenly, looking at Stan, who was the last to leave.</p><p>“You sure? It was your –“</p><p>“Yeah,” Richie cut him off, waving his hand. “Just gonna hang with Eds for a while.”</p><p>“You don’t have to do that,” Eddie said quickly, unable to look Richie in the eye. <em>Please don’t do that</em>, he thought desperately.</p><p>“Psh,” Richie said, spit flying from his mouth making Eddie grimace. He certainly didn’t want to kiss that, right? He was disgusting! “You know I love spending time with you, Eddie my love.”</p><p>Eddie burned. He watched Stan’s feet disappear up the ladder and the sound of Richie plopping himself into the hammock.</p><p>“So you gonna tell me what the fuck is wrong with you, or what?” Richie said, once he was sure all their friends were gone, and Eddie groaned inwardly. Of course Richie would notice something was off. That’s what he liked about Richie, he knew him better than anyone.</p><p><em>I don’t like him</em>, he reminded himself sternly, only for a little voice in his head to shout<em> yes you do!</em> Eddie had never had one before but he was pretty sure this was what a nervous breakdown was – arguing with yourself in your head.</p><p>“Earth to Eddie,” Richie said, flicking him on the forehead. He smacked Richie’s hand away, frowning.</p><p>“I’m fine, just tired, like I said.”</p><p>“Bull fucking shit, man.”</p><p>Eddie huffed.</p><p>Richie was quiet for a few moments, long enough that Eddie finally looked up from the comic book. Richie was already watching him, and the second their eyes met he asked, “Do you like Bev?”</p><p>The question took him off-guard.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“It’s okay if you do,” Richie said, and Eddie thought he looked like he was trying his best to be sincere. “You and Ben are in the same boat, that’s for sure.”</p><p>“I don’t like Bev,” Eddie said. “I don’t – why do you think I like Bev?”</p><p>“You got all weird when they got here! You wouldn’t even play Monopoly with us. I thought it was ‘cause they were a team together or something.”</p><p>Eddie huffed out a relieved laugh. “No, I don’t like Bev.”</p><p>Richie seemed to look relieved as well, but Eddie was filing that thought away in a folder labeled Things That Don’t Matter Because I Don’t Like Richie.</p><p>“So what is it then? All the making out talk?” When Eddie didn’t answer, Richie continued. “What? Did you have a bad experience or something?”</p><p>“No, what? Shut the fuck up,” Eddie said, looking back at his comic.</p><p>“Okay, I know you haven’t read any of that comic, dude, give it up.”</p><p>Eddie huffed again and tossed the comic away from him. He glared at Richie. This was all Richie’s fault, anyway.</p><p>“So what’s really wrong?”</p><p>Eddie broke. “Have you really already made out with someone?”</p><p>The shock was evident on Richie’s face, and Eddie wanted to bury himself alive. His cheeks were still hot, and he was pretty sure he was just going to live with a permanent blush now.</p><p>“I – Damn, Eds, you already called me out on it once –“</p><p>“I didn’t call you out –“</p><p>“Leave a guy with some dignity!”</p><p>“So that’s a no?”</p><p>“No, I haven’t made out with anybody. You know that, stupid.”</p><p>The relief he felt at the words told him everything he needed to know about his feelings. <em>Fuck</em>.</p><p>“No, yeah, I – Yeah.” Eddie stumbled over his words awkwardly.</p><p>“Then what were you upset about?”</p><p>“I wasn’t upset,” Eddie answered, pulling his knees up to his chest and locking his arms around his legs. “My brain was just – I was just thinking.”</p><p>“Thinking about… making out?”</p><p>“You’re really annoying sometimes, do you know that?”</p><p>Richie grinned. “I’ve been told.”</p><p>Eddie shook his head and laughed, some of the earlier tension escaping his body. He suddenly realized how wound up he felt. He tried to let his body relax.</p><p>“Can we switch?”</p><p>“What?” Richie asked, clearly caught off-guard.</p><p>“Like, the hammock. I’ve been sitting on the ground for like two hours.”</p><p>Richie beamed at him. “Absolutely not.”</p><p>“Fuck off, seriously,” Eddie griped, standing up.</p><p>“Why don’t you just join me?” Richie asked, and Eddie wasn’t sure if it was sarcastic or not, but before he could let himself think about it he began climbing in, knees knocking Richie’s and sending his heart racing through the fucking roof. When he settled their legs were tangled in the middle, and Richie had put a hand on Eddie’s ankle, like that was normal, like that was something people just <em>do</em>.</p><p>“See? Problem solved, easy peasy.”</p><p>Eddie disagreed; his problem was not solved. In fact, his problem was made worse because now he’s all pressed up against Richie with the knowledge that he <em>likes</em> him just rattling around in his brain.</p><p>He picked up his comic book for a distraction and opened it, then peeked over the top at Richie. He had his own comic book open but it was lying face down on his chest. His blue eyes were on Eddie.</p><p>Eddie cleared his throat awkwardly.</p><p>“You’re still being fucking weird,” Richie said. “Are you just upset in general about the concept of making out?”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Or are you upset about Bev and Bill –“</p><p>“I already told you I don’t like Bev!”</p><p>“Well do you like <em>Bill</em>?” Richie’s voice rose a little, and Eddie felt it like a sucker punch to the gut.</p><p>“That’s not funny,” he said, staring resolutely at the ground.</p><p>“It wasn’t a joke,” Richie said.</p><p>“No, Richie,” he said sharply. “I don’t like Bill.”</p><p>“Then do you… want to make out with somebody?” Richie asked, voice rising at the end.</p><p>Eddie knew he was so red he was practically glowing. He lifted the comic up so Richie couldn’t see his face.</p><p>“Why does that make you freak out, dude? Pretty sure that just makes you normal.”</p><p>Eddie stayed quiet.</p><p>“Dude, you have got to throw me a fuckin’ bone here,” Richie said, exasperated. Eddie felt heated at the idea of <em>Richie</em> being the one to get exasperated.</p><p>“Or you could just shut the fuck up and leave me the fuck alone.”</p><p>“Well we both know that’s never going to happen, so. Might as well tell me. Who is it? I know you don’t like her like that but like, is it still Bev? It’s gotta be someone from school.”</p><p>“Richie, I <em>just</em> told you to shut the fuck up.”</p><p>“Who is it that could have you freaking out so much?” Richie asked, ignoring Eddie's plea. “Is it Greta? I’d be embarrassed too –“</p><p>“I don’t want to make out with Greta!” Eddie snapped, dropping his comic book to the floor.</p><p>“Is that what it is? Are you embarrassed?” Richie probed.</p><p>“Of course I’m fucking embarrassed, Richie!” He fumed. “That’s why I’m telling you to shut up!”</p><p>“What the fuck, who could be this fucking embarrassing, Eddie?” Richie said loudly to match Eddie’s volume.</p><p>“I swear to God, Richie, if you –“</p><p>“Then who?”</p><p>“<em>You</em>! You fucking asshole, I want to make out with <em>you</em>!”</p><p>The words were out before he could stop them. Even in his horror, he realized that at least this was one way to get Richie to shut up.</p><p>He took one look at Richie’s face, the dropped jaw and the wide eyes magnified by glasses, and fought his way out of the hammock, almost tripping when his foot got stuck. Richie was still just staring at him with that fucking look on his face. He burned with shame as he finally freed himself of the hammock. He rushed toward the ladder, which apparently broke Richie from his trance.</p><p>“Wait, Eds –“</p><p>“Leave me alone,” he said, horrified to find his voice breaking. He was stepping onto the first rung of the ladder when Richie reached him and grabbed him by the wrist, pulling him back down. Eddie felt like he couldn’t breathe as Richie stood in front of him, breathing heavily.</p><p>“Were you serious? Were you – you want to –“</p><p>“<em>Please</em> let me go,” Eddie said quietly.</p><p>“You want to –“ Richie repeated softly, and then he was grabbing Eddie’s face with shaking hands. Eddie looked at him, unable to read the tone, and started to pull away. He couldn’t handle this. He couldn’t handle this rejection, here in the clubhouse where so many fond memories took place. He needed to get away, away from Richie and this ruined space –</p><p>“I’m going to kiss you now,” Richie whispered.</p><p>Eddie stopped moving, his breath hitched. “Wha-?”</p><p>But Richie had leaned forward and caught his lips mid-word. Eddie squeaked, frozen, as Richie tried to kiss him. It only lasted for a few seconds before Richie pulled away, his own cheeks pink and eyes dark.</p><p>“You were serious, right?” He asked, hands still cupping Eddie’s face.</p><p>“Yeah,” Eddie answered, his voice still low. Richie smiled, and Eddie’s stomach swooped. “Do it again?”</p><p>Richie nodded, looking stunned in the best possible way, and leaned back in.</p><p>*</p><p>The next day, the Losers planned to meet at the quarry at noon for an afternoon swim.</p><p>Eddie and Richie were late.</p>
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